My friend, he walks with me
When she makes me feel frantic, he makes me feel still
When she makes me feel like I could feint, he assures me I’ll never go anywhere
When she takes my breath away, he brings floods of the stuff
When she makes my heart feel like a loose scarf, he makes it feel like a paper weight
While she demands more of my energy, he takes it away
While she insists we have to do more, he tells me I’m fine as I am
And when she makes me feel like I can’t do things, he tells me there’s no point anyway.
Sometimes it feels like he’s carrying me, deciding where I go and when to put me down. Deciding when to greet her and when not to. Other days I feel like I am carrying them. Because it’s so much easier to think of them as a disease which I just have to wait out.
God forbid I realise they are me.